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Quarterly Roundup: Apr-Jun 2019

What I’ve been up to…

In April, Parisa and I made a trip to Colombia which was special in many ways but most of all because while we were there, we got engaged!

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This was the happiest moment of my life so far, but getting to this point was not so easy…

During the Christmas break while in the U.S. I decided I wanted to get an engagement ring and bring it back over to London in order to propose at some point. I managed to piece together a ring while I was there but not without a few points of suspicion from Parisa as to where my mother and I were going in town without her. It is ironic that in order to prove your commitment and trust to someone, you must first engage (no pun intended) in an exercise of pure secrecy, lies and deception. Anyway, I was able to get it back to London where it hid anxiously in my sock drawer for 4 months.

A few days before the photo above. Parisa and I arrived in Bogota from London and immediately hopped a flight to Medellin. Our first day in Medellin I had told Parisa I had planned a hike for us outside Medellin and she wasn’t allowed to ask where we were going but that it would be a couple hours in the morning and then we could get our tourism on. According to several blogs I had read, there was a hike outside of the city where you start at the top of a mountain at the place where Pablo Escobar built his own prison for him and his cronies, and then hike downhill to these amazing waterfalls. I thought some falls in the middle of the jungle would be a romantic spot to propose and start our holiday. I also didn’t want to be alone in caring for this ring as we traveled through Colombia, so getting the proposal done on the first day was my plan A and I frankly didn’t have a plan B.

That morning we woke up early (mostly due to jet lag) and got a cab to drive us up to the start of this hike. This is also the first point where I realised how cheap Colombia was, as we took a ride that in London would have been about £120 for the equivalent of about £15. Upon reaching the top I got out and led the way based on the blogs I had screen-shotted. We made our way down this driveway until we reached something that looked like it could have been a prison at some point. There seemed to be nobody on the outside and after wandering the perimeter for a few minutes the only people we managed to see were some old people using walkers (we found out later that this has since become a nursing home, but found out in the moment that whatever it was, it was pretty unspectacular).

With that underwhelming surprise out of the way, we set out for the hike which proved to be rather difficult as there were no clear signs or trails. After about 10-15 minutes we eventually found a small gate out the side of Pablo Escobar’s nursing home and got onto the trail. We hiked a windy, slightly downhill trail as I thought about what I was going to say and how I was going to be able to get this ring out of my fanny pack in a reasonably graceful manner. Soon, we came to a set of signs pointing opposite directions. One of them had a name I had seen on the blog and the other I didn’t recognise so I confidently guided us to the trail for Cascada Salto del Angel.

Pretty much immediately, things became incredibly difficult. Following the signs for the trail, we went over the edge of what at the time seemed like a steep hill but was in reality, a cliff. Using some shady ropes that had been tied to trees, Parisa and I rappelled down a wet rock face for about 20 minutes. Parisa was getting understandably agitated but we eventually reached the bottom where I saw the falls and breathed a sigh of relief. As Parisa reached the bottom I pointed out the falls and said that’s where we needed to go. I went up ahead while she rested to find where we needed to go next. I climbed up some rocks and over to the falls only to realise there was no exit. I looked at my instructions from the blogs and all of them said “once you’re at the falls, just follow the trail/stream down to the bottom.” No matter where I looked there was no way out. Just another waterfall right below us that dropped off into the stream. I was panicking a bit and my brain wasn’t retaining much, but the conversation went something like this:

Me: Yeah so I don’t think we can get out this way.

Parisa: What do you mean?

Me: Like there’s supposed to be a trail, and there’s no trail here.

Parisa: What do you mean?

Me: I think we went the wrong way.

Parisa: What do you mean?

Me: We need to go back up the way we came.

Parisa: *quiet, piercing rage*

So we climbed back up. Parisa didn’t say much other than the occasional “you’re the worst.” But eventually after a challenging climb back to the top we got back to the two signs and I reexamined the blog posts and confirmed that we had in fact gone the wrong way.

We began to make our way down the mountain which now surprisingly followed the description in the blog posts quite accurately. It was still steep and required some ropes but was now a more open pine forest without wet rocks.

Parisa pretending she doesn’t want to murder me

Parisa pretending she doesn’t want to murder me

Eventually after about an hour of this, we reached the bottom, but still no sign of the falls. We ran into a young Colombian couple who were camping and enjoying some potent weed on a hillside by the stream. He was thin and wiry wearing a stocking cap in the South American heat, but compensated for it by wearing nothing else on the rest of his body except some tight, very small boxer-briefs.

Now, I have a lot of good things to say about the American public education system but I think we could make some improvements in the foreign language departments. It’s all well and good to be able to be able to get 3 apples and 4 bananas at el supermercado, but I really don’t think you know the language until you’ve found out how to get to a waterfall from a naked Colombian man whose brain is currently a battleground of caffeine and cannabis, while your novia enojada stands behind you impatiently.

After a few contradictory derechas and izquierdas, we got what we could from them before making our way up and back down another hill. That’s when I heard them. The falls. Unfortunately this sound was coming from far below us to the left and when I looked over to see if I could see them, all I saw was another drop off and dense jungle. I assumed the falls had to be down there but couldn’t risk going down and having to come back up again with Parisa for fear of her choking me out and sending me downstream.

So I left her with the pack and scrambled down the rock face, this time with no ropes. In about 10 minutes I reached the falls. I still needed to confirm this was the way to the exit though, as I had learned 2 hours earlier, the Siren song of waterfalls with no way out can be quite tempting. I spoke in some broken Spanish with a man by the falls who told me the exit was another 30-40 minutes down the stream and I was in fact in the right place.

After making my way up to the top again, I told Parisa that the falls and the exit were at the bottom but we needed to descend one last bit of rocks. Needless to say she wasn’t happy but we began making our way down when we got to a spot where my slightly longer legs allowed me to climb down easily but was nearly impossible for her.

Me (from below): So just put your foot right there.

Parisa: Cal, I can’t reach

Me: Yeah but if you just put your foot right there you can climb down to here.

Parisa: Cal, I can’t reach that far.

Me: Yeah I mean if you really stretch and put your toes ri—

Parisa (in a disturbingly calm tone): CAL! I. am. so. mad. at. you. right. now.

We eventually made it to the bottom where I made the decision that this wasn’t quite the build up I wanted before I proposed, so I bailed on the whole plan. I tried to rally things at the bottom but Parisa barely glanced at the falls, completely focussed on getting to the exit. We progressed down the creek and a couple side roads for the next hour before getting to a bus stop with some food stands next to them. I went over to a juice stand where a woman was juicing lemons to make lemonade to make sure we were in the right spot. Soon a bus came and took us back down the mountain while I thought about what in the world I was going to do with this ring.


Luckily, a few days later in Cartagena the opportunity presented itself. We decided to take one day and get a speed boat out to a private island with about 50 other people. When we got out to the island which was about the size of two football fields, while everybody was settling in I asked Parisa if she wanted to go to the other side of the island to see what was over there.

Surprisingly her thirst to explore hadn’t been quenched by the disaster a few days earlier so we ambled across the island. On the other side there was a quiet piece of beach with no people and clear waters. Finally after some peering around and strategic placement, Parisa asked to get a picture of her looking out into the ocean. While her back was turned, I got down on one knee and slowly took the ring box out of my fanny pack. When she turned around I asked the question as she began crying. Which I must say was quite confusing at first considering there were no words coming out. All that happened was I asked her if she wanted to marry me and she began crying which could be interpreted so many ways.

After pressing the issue, she finally said yes and informed they were tears of happiness. We snapped a few pictures and then rejoined the others as if nothing had ever happened.

 

What I’ve been reading…

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Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Subconscious by Timothy D. Wilson

My rating: 8.5/10

I really enjoyed this one. If you’re not much of a pop psychology fan I’d skip this one but it’s an illuminating read. As the subtitle states, it is a book about the adaptive subconscious and how that influences our day to day behaviours and decisions. It often feels as though we are consciously making most of our decisions and then carrying them out but through many experiments and studies, the author seems to show that while this is often the case, more often our subconscious is at the wheel. A great analogy used to explain this is that we often think that voice in our head is the president. Shelling out orders and making decisions to make things happen. However, the science seems to show that often that voice in our head is just a press secretary. The decision has already been made behind the scenes and that voice now has to make up a story to explain why this thing you’re doing is important and right. Anyway, worth reading if you enjoy reviews of the literature on very specific topics, otherwise by about the 20th study presented you’ll probably lose interest.


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Born Standing Up by Steve Martin

My rating: 7/10

I only give this a 7 out of 10 because I would now like to learn much more about Steve Martin. This really only covers the stand up comedy portion of his life but he seems like somebody with endless talents and interests. This book is an entertaining read with many laugh out loud moments (such as one anecdote about him doing standup in an empty club, for nobody). I also am fascinated with comedians and how different it is from every other art form. This is a clear description of the meteoric rise of Steve Martin but also the insane life comedians lead and the troubles that come with that. It’s a quick, light read so if you have a vacation coming up, I’d give this one a go.


What I’ve been watching…

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True Detective: Season 3

I haven’t been watching too many shows (other than Game of Thrones, but I won’t go into that) the last couple months but I binged this one in the last month and oh man was it good. If you haven’t seen any of the True Detective seasons, it started in season one with Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson as two detectives in Louisiana and it was great. Season 2 was another star studded cast but dropped off quite a bit and I really couldn’t tell you what it was about. This latest season I think is the best of all 3. Mahershala Ali is incredible and plays himself in 3 different time periods. 1980, 1990 and 2015. The story takes place in Arkansas and while the characters have depth, they are still realistic which I think was lacking in the first two seasons. It’s good to have characters that have layers but it takes you out of the show when everyone seems to have a PhD in western philosophy but are semi-alcoholic cops. Either way, I highly recommend this season.


What I’ve been listening to…

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Revisionist History by Malcolm Gladwell

I’ve always loved Malcolm Gladwell’s writing and thinking. This podcast continues that. Don’t get me wrong, there are some real stinkers on here but I actually think that’s what makes Malcolm Gladwell so good. He’s willing to chase some small detail down until he has every bit of the story figured out and sometimes that chasing really just leads nowhere. But it’s worth it because the other times it does go somewhere, the payoff is so good. Season 4 has just started and I highly recommend the first two episodes especially to anybody who is a lawyer or knows lawyers as Malcolm goes and takes the LSAT. I also think episodes 4-6 of season one should be required listening for any high school junior getting ready to begin the college search. This is a 3 episode segment on the higher education system in the US and goes deep into some of the things I found endlessly frustrating when I was in college

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Hardcore History by Dan Carlin

Unlike Malcolm Gladwell’s podcast, this one is actually about history. It is not new but I have recently been re-listening to his series on WWI and man I forgot how good it was. There’s no music, no sound effects, no fluff just Dan Carlin telling the story of some event in history with context and analysis and it’s fantastic. People ask me what podcasts they should listen to and I always say this one. I still have yet to come across a better one than this.



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The Milk Carton Kids

Earlier this month, Parisa and I went and saw the Milk Carton Kids who are a great folk duo from the US. They are great live not only because they are great songwriters and Kenneth is a great guitarist but also they are incredibly funny. We oscillated between complete calm while enjoying their music and almost painful laughter between the songs. Their music is quite soothing and easy to listen to so if you’re looking for some good driving music or just something to chill out to in the evening. More importantly though, if they are in your area I really recommend going and seeing them.


Well that’s it for this quarter but keep an eye out for some more updates soon. Thanks!

Quarterly Roundup: Jan-Mar 2019

The last few months have been a lot of fun involving a trip to Porto, Portugal and enjoying living 2 minutes from Hyde Park. I don’t post on social media anymore so I thought I would start doing a post like this every 3 months to give a quick summary of what I’ve been doing. Enjoy!

What I’ve been up to…

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In February Parisa and I took a long weekend and went to Porto, Portugal. Porto is one of the oldest cities in Europe and very charming. We decided to take a day to do a wine tour in the Douro Valley which was beautiful. This was the boat portion of the tour where Parisa and I seemed to be the only ones who brought our own bottle of wine…

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This is Portugal’s famous Francesinha. It’s a sandwich made with bread, wet-cured ham, linguiça, fresh sausage like chipolata, steak or roast meat, then covered with melted cheese and a spicy red sauce and topped with a fried egg. It is truly fabulous and also a pure heart attack.

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Back in London, I played my first gig in quite a while. Probably mid-way through forgetting the lyrics to Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright in this picture. A song I’ve played a zillion times.

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This was a great night. In January, our friends Paria and Nino treated us to a dinner/casino night. Our dinner came with a £10 voucher for the casino next door which we could use in any game but couldn’t trade in for the £10 value. So we all decided that we would pair off and play 2 rounds of roulette, each placing our £10 voucher on red and black at the same time so we could at least get chips to be in the game. After this, we each had a £5 chip which we placed on the roulette table. I decided to not play the odds, and instead put the chip only on my favourite number, 8. We all placed our bets and watched the wheel spin and to my surprise, the ball trickled down into the 8. We all celebrated as the dealer (spinner? whatever they’re called) handed me £175 worth of chips. I then divided up all the chips minus £100 of it, between the 4 of us and placed more bets only to have Paria win again with some chips she placed on two numbers. This left us with £200 total which seemed like a nice round number to divide between four people. The Arab men who were putting down £10,000 bets each time were quite confused when we decided to call it a night. We were all buzzing afterwards but also deeply understood how one could gamble their life away while chasing that buzz. We decided to get out while we were ahead and snapped the picture above on our way out.


What I’ve been reading…

I always have a book going so I thought I’d put any good ones I come across in here each quarter.

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Factfulness by Hans Rosling

My rating: 9/10

I found this book fascinating and a must read for anyone who is looking for a better understanding of the world. In the Trump era, it’s become fashionable to despair and claim the world is in shambles. But politics aside, the world is in fact doing far better than most people realise. Through data and fun graphs, Hans Rosling displays why this is by far the best time to be alive. Often when data like this is presented, the counter is “yes, but there are still problems and people suffering out there so how could you be so cruel to claim that things are ok?” Often I think this comes from a lack of understanding of how bad things really were even 150 years ago but Hans Rosling’s entire point in this book is that we have the capacity to improve things as evidenced by the data in this book. In his words “People often call me an optimist, because I show them the enormous progress they didn't know about. That makes me angry. I'm not an optimist. That makes me sound naive. I'm a very serious “possibilist.”

Rosling has since passed away but I found this book hopeful and mind altering. He shows there are things we can do to improve the remaining problems if we continue to work on them with a full understanding of the facts. Hint: Complaining about things on Facebook and watching CNN or Fox News doesn’t count.

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Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker

My rating 8/10

As someone interested in nutrition and fitness I had a hierarchy of health where I believed that nutrition was the foundation because if you got your nutrition right you could lose weight and then you’d have the energy to exercise and then you’d be tired enough sleep at night which would feed this cycle and you’d be on your way to a healthy body.

This book has changed that.

I still believe that you need to be doing all 3 of these activities well to achieve and maintain a healthy lifestyle but I now put sleep as the foundation. Walker explains how lack of sleep not only causes us to retain extra weight anyway but also contributes to us choosing less healthy foods which lowers our energy which makes us not want to exercise which then means we don’t sleep and before you know it, the vicious cycle is running in the opposite direction.

If health is about managing feedback loops, getting the lead domino (sleep) right can make all the rest easier. From cancer, to heart disease, to Alzheimer’s, it’s abundantly clear that lack of sleep is at the very least a key contributor to these diseases, if not the main cause. Just for a little teaser on just how fragile we are without sleep, every spring when the clocks move forward 1 hour and we lose one hour of sleep, the rate of heart attack in the US goes up about 20%. In the fall, when we gain an hour of sleep, the rate of heart attack goes down by about 20%. Yikes.


What I’ve been watching…

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Game of Thrones

Parisa and I have been binging Game of Thrones for the last few months getting ready for the final season. I don’t think any further justification is required.

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Free Solo (Oscar Winner for Best Documentary)

This documentary is bananas. The story of Alex Honnold and his quest to free solo (a.k.a. climb without any ropes like an absolute mental patient) El Capitan in Yosemite. I’m convinced this could have been filmed on two iPhones and it would have still won the Oscar. I recommend watching with a towel close by for your inevitable hand sweat.


What I’ve been listening to…

Podcasts and music

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The Drive with Peter Attia M.D.

This is quickly becoming one of my favourite health and nutrition podcasts. It’s quite technical and I don’t understand half the words but Peter Attia has a great radio voice and is always on the cutting edge of longevity and prolonging “health-span” rather than lifespan. He believes by focusing on age as the metric for a healthy life, we end up over-prescribing and medicating. Instead what we should be focused on is trying to prolong the healthy active years of our life.

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The Tim Ferriss Show

I’ve listened to Tim Ferriss for a long time and his show runs the gamut from health, to business, to productivity and many other topics but a couple of my favourites are below.

Episode 55 - Pavel Tsatsouline: Pavel is one of the top strength coaches in the world and has trained some of the top Russian athletes and power lifters over the years. I love this episode because it blows up this idea that we should be sore at the end of every workout and goes deep on where strength and mobility really comes from and why it’s important.

Episode 138 - Seth Godin: I could listen to Seth talk every day. It sounds like he’s reading from a prompter but he’s really just that clear of a thinker. This episode has some of his thoughts on education which I think are spot on as someone who recently came out of the education into the working world.

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The Red Petals debut album

And of course, I’ve been listening to The Red Petals’ self titled new album which is just great. My brother JC is the lead singer and guitarist. This album has long been in the works and it shows. It’s a fully crafted bluesy piece of art so please give it a listen if you haven’t already.


That’s it for this quarter but look forward to the next edition in June!

All the best,

Cal